Dates for Sex

Talk about swingers, their swinger bar and their unique lifestyle has been out there for decades so we’ve decided to do a bit of research and fill you in on the basics, in case, like us, you were wondering what it’s all about. After reading this, you might want to give it a shot and add some spice to your current relationship or your dating life in general, ’cause yes, you can join even if you’re single!

Swingers are defined as people who engage freely in promiscuous sex by exchanging or swapping sexual partners for their own pleasure. Thus defined, we have swinger men, swinger women and swinger couples. Apparently, couples are most successful in finding swapping partners. Then come women since many couples are looking to add a single lady to their encounters. Last in success rate come swinger men since there’s always some hesitation regarding their motives and whether or not they truly embrace the swinger lifestyle or just pretend to do so for occasional kicks. It is said that the origins of this movement date back to the military families stationed abroad during World War II but it’s only a speculation.

Although swinging is all about freedom and having a good time, there are rules to ensure that everybody will enjoy themselves and not just a few. The absolute golden rule is, “no definitely means no”! When told no or asked to stop something, you do it immediately and without arguing. There are other principles which are also important to respect:

1. You and your partner should never attempt to break up a marriage. Remember you are there to have a good time and leave, not immerse yourself in drama.

2. When a date is made, always keep up to it or else give ample time of notice for changing circumstances. This seems to be a courtesy for everyday life that people are tending to forget.

3. It is important to keep the first meeting on a “no strings attached” basis. You and your partner should be prepared to swing if it is mutually agreed or to give an honest answer if something does not work out. As with any other dating situation, attraction is indispensable so if there is no chemistry, you should never feel forced to have to go ahead and engage in sexual activity.

4. You never under any circumstances exercise pressure on your partner to swing. The minute somebody agrees to something they are not completely convinced about, problems will come up.

5. It is suggested that you and your partner restrict discussions of swinging to known swingers and interested individuals seeking information. Otherwise, what is a lifestyle, a choice for life, becomes a joke for others who don’t understand it; thus giving them leverage to criticize and attack it by deforming facts.

6. Be wise and protect the anonymity of other swingers by abstaining from unauthorized “name dropping.” Because of the great prejudices and misconceptions surrounding this lifestyle, many swingers choose to protect their privacy so this choice in lifestyle doesn’t negatively affect other spaces of their life. You owe them the same respect.

7. For the sake of other swingers, always maintain the highest standards of personal cleanliness and appearance. This should be a rule of thumb for all dating but some people don’t follow thru. In fact, all clubs have dress code where the motto is “dress to impress”.

8. Be smart and don’t engage in any unlawful activity that would harm the reputation of other swingers as a group. Drugs, excessive alcohol use, sex with minors, etc…all these are conducts which are considered unacceptable within the community and which further contribute to the misconceptions around it.

9. Always be friendly and warm with your swing partners. Be understanding that there is a type of emotional involvement, which is properly reserved for a spouse or “primary significant other.” Important here to remind you, once more, that the primary relationship will always, must always take precedence and as such, as a swinging partner, there will be spaces which you will never, must never seek to penetrate.

10. Lastly, remember to show respect for the personal attitudes and feelings of other swingers. All individuals are different and come to this “party” with a set of rules of their own. Don’t assume anything and make sure everything is crystal clear from the get go.

The key social behaviors that tend to be appreciated in the swinging community are responsibility, friendliness, flirtatiousness, open-mindedness, and most importantly stability with regard to one’s primary relationship. It’s important to understand that swinging is viewed as a way to enhance a current relationship and not a way to replace a failed one. It’s crucial that you and your partner are very in tune to one another’s needs and fears so that you can experiment and then always come back to a successful and fulfilling primary relationship.

Especially in the case of new swingers, jealousy tends to be an issue at times. You must understand that this is a deviation from what is socially expected and as such requires, in most cases, that people rid themselves of a lot of preconceptions they’ve lived with most of their life. Patience is of the essence here, but furthermore, constant reassurance from one another, that the primary relationship continues to be the priority. No swinging experience should leave one of the partners feeling unwanted or disregarded. This is crucial to the success of this lifestyle. If jealousy attacks should take place, it’s always best to leave the activity and resolve them on your own…there will always be other clubs, other parties, other couples to swing with, but there might only be this chance to correct a situation which is fundamental to the preservation of the relationship.

If you are sold on the idea of swinging and swinger nightclub and would like to try it out, there are two ways to go about it. You can pay membership to a club, which tends to be costly and does not guarantee that you will have sex…what goes on inside is up to the people participating in the activity. There are only a few spots reserved for newcomers and even if you were to get in, it’s important to say that a lot of what goes on in these parties and clubs might be a bit too much to handle for beginners; you don’t want to overwhelm yourself.

The other way to go is the placement of an ad in specialized forums, usually for free or for a small fee. It’s important to understand that although much cheaper, the ad option will imply a lot of back and forth writing until you find the couple that best suits you. If you’re looking for instant gratification, then this is not the way to go.

Hopefully, the information given here has provided you with enough elements to make an informed decision on whether this is an option for you as an individual, or for your relationship. You need not be married to join as a couple but a strong solid bond is most recommended. Remember the key is in clarity, absolute respect and a keen ear and eye to make sure your partner is enjoying the experience as much as you are. If for any reason, discomfort should arise, it’s of the utmost importance that it be discussed immediately before the situation gets out of hand. Be safe and enjoy what could very much be the pepper you needed to rekindle the flame in your relationship!

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