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When you have been in a steady adult dating relationship, when exactly is the right time to say “I love you?”

In reality, there really isn’t one. However, just thinking about it can really be distressing. With your adult dating experiences notwithstanding, it may or may not be surprising that the results of a recent psychology journal study, wherein researches found out that 2/3 of couples, states that it’s the guy who says “I love you” first. Not only that, but men consider saying this momentous, relationship-changing statement up to six weeks earlier than their female partners.

Josh Ackerman, a psychologist at Massachusetts Institute of Technology and author of the study says, “We are constantly bombarded by this idea that love is about women, in a sense.” He continues, “Women are the more emotional ones, and men hide their feelings, but that doesn’t necessarily appear to be the case.”

The study found that gender differences in the timing and functioning of saying those three words comes down to sex. When researchers studied how people feel after hearing this declaration at different points in their relationship, they found that men were happier to say their “I love yous” if they haven’t had sex in the relationship yet —in the hopes that it would lead to sex—and the women stated they were happier to say it once they already had sex in the relationship, as they see it as a sign of commitment. However, when an additional study had subjects split into groups of those looking for serious relationships and those just looking to hookup, they found that like women, men seeking commitment were also happier to hear “I love you” after sex instead of before.

So if you’re feeling love-stoned, chances are your man is, too—and has been for quite some time.

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