Dates for Sex

If you don’t know Sarah Lyall, she is like the Yankee version of Jane Goodall, but instead of mist she has fog, and instead of primates, she has a more mysterious species—British men. As a correspondent for the New York Times, Sarah Lyall has lived among the repressed masters of wit for 13 years—and even married one. She has written about them in her new book, The Anglo Files: A Field Guide to the British. So if you are considering going adult dating with a Brit, here are a few things you should know first:

• They exaggerate.

If a Limey tells you he was shackled in a basement while growing up, only fed bones, wore rags and couldn’t go to school, that’s just his way of saying he didn’t get along well with his parents.

• Self-disparagement is their way of bragging.

Underneath all that humility is a man who knows he can bow meekly and not be taken seriously. A perfect example is the two-time Nobel Peace prize winning scientist who characterized himself as “just a guy messing around in a lab.”

• They drink because they care.

When out adult dating with them for the first time, a British man is going to drink more than you—a lot more. This just shows he’s into you because he’s repressed and he wants to loosen up, so he can impress you. However, do not even try to keep up. Ever.

• Not all of them are gay or into naughty spanking, but deep down, they all have the desire to wear your fancy dresses.

Most British men have, at one time or another, worn a woman’s dress. And they even might do it again if they had the chance. We don’t know the reason behind this, but studies are being done to find out why.

• Every Englishman is secretly attracted to Margaret Thatcher.

She is attractive in her own way, and she is a fab flirt. However, she also berated, harangued and shouted at the guys in Parliament. Everyone in her government had a crush on her in a kind of nanny fantasy way.

• You are exotic to them.

American women are inclined to be more open and honest than what they are used to back home and they really like that. Moreover, they can’t place you because America is huge and varied, while England is relatively tiny. And you are smitten with them, which doesn’t hurt.

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