Dates for Sex

When you say February 14, hearts, roses, dinner reservations and lingerie come to mind. These things may sound romantic, but ladies, a reality check: Valentine’s Day can be anything buy victorious. And who should be thanked for that? Men (and that includes your Internet dating guy). Besides a few important men in our lives, most guys disappoint. From horrible gifts to an unexpected case of amnesia, many women are left hanging, even those who think V-Day is the sappiest day of the year. Here are cringeworthy moves that your Internet dating man can make.

Saying he doesn’t believe in corny commercial holidays just mere moments after you’ve given him an adorable little card.

Saying, “Oh no, we’re never going to get a dinner reservation anywhere tonight because it’s freaking stupid Valentine’s Day.”

Giving flowers from the supermarket.

Disclosing to you that the only thing he finds appetizing in the Valentine’s singles party you’re both at are the free martinis.

Sending you a message in the morning of February 14, asking, “Hey, what are you up to tonight?” He is not really asking you out on a date, but just thinking if you’ll be out with somebody else.

Telling you before he hangs up, “Listen, I really want to make it up to you,” but not really asking you out on a date.

Driving through a fast-food restaurant after renting “Basic Instinct,” and then inviting you to his apartment to watch it with his roommate.

Breaking up with you on the day before just because he didn’t want to bother going through the motions.

Gifting you a box of chocolates the day after because the prices are cut.

Giving you dreadful jewelry worn by mall rats that you even saw on his sister just a week before.

Cries after having sex with you because his ex Mona broke up with him on Valentine’s Day the year before.

Wearing a silly cupid costume.

Making you a lame cardboard cutout of a heart with “IOU a gift” written on it.

Waiting until the day before V-Day to make plans with you because he knows he is going to have sex.

Taking you to a place where they serve two-for-one meals.

Inviting you out for a lovely evening with him… and his mom.

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