I’m 22 and have been dating a 20 year old girl for some months now. We get along pretty well and have decided we want to take our relationship to the next level: sex. We are both late bloomers, so to speak, and have never been sexually active so it’ll be the first time for both of us. As the man in the relationship, I guess she assumes I should know what to do and how and although yes, I know the mechanics of it, I’m pretty much at a loss for ideas as far as how to get things started. I need your help badly!
Dear Late Bloomer:
First and foremost, let me congratulate you on waiting to have somebody you feel comfortable with, to initiate your sexual life. Too many men and women, sadly, having a first time sex for the wrong reasons. I’d say that the fact that you guys have given it thought and can discuss that this is were you want to go next, already gives you a heads up on so many other couples out there.
You don’t give me enough information as far as how “virgin” you guys are. These days many call themselves virgins because they haven’t engaged in actual penetration but have participated in many other sexual practices that have put them at risk for contracting a sexually transmitted disease; for example, oral sex. This is why I strongly recommend that you both go and get tested for STD’s if you haven’t already done so. This will take a huge worry off both your shoulders so you can have an enjoyable experience.
If the tests come back negative and you are both healthy, I’d say the next concern is birth control and other forms of protection. I strongly recommend the proper use of a condom at all times, along with a complimentary method such as birth control pills to be on the very safe side…you know what they say, better safe than sorry…and because in this department, sorry can imply a lifetime commitment, I’d say definitely strive for safety. An OBGyn can further assess you as far as the proper use of a condom and the best birth control method for your girlfriend. Do pay one a visit and get your facts straight beforehand.
All that talk wasn’t meant to discourage you guys from having sex….believe me I want you to get laid just as much as you do…but being a public figure makes me liable to lawsuits you know….I’ve got to cover my ass with the whole responsibility factor. So, once all that is out of the way, let’s get down to the nitty gritty!
You guys are a work in progress so to speak…so your defined sexual preferences are yet to be discovered. Therefore, I say you should ensure a safe and comfortable location where you can experiment at your leisure. If either one of you lives on your own, then your apartment might be a good idea…take the phone off the hook, turn off cells, make sure no visitors will drop in unannounced and by all means, don’t commit yourself to being anywhere for many hours so you can truly relax.
If you don’t have a place of your own, then a small hotel might be another option and even give you an element of fantasy to play with. Ask your girl and make sure you get her input as far as what she prefers; it’s best not to assume. Whichever place you decide on, provide a special ambience with scents, music and candles for instance, maybe a nice meal… after all, it’s your first time sex, invest in making it memorable for the both of you.
Once in the chosen location, just relax and let things flow naturally. You are both learning so make sure to laugh at your inevitable awkwardness and don’t hold very high expectations for this first encounter since chances are it will only get better with practice. Labels: adult dating services, dating as an adult, first time sex, first time sex advice, free single sites, online dating web site, online singles sites