Dates for Sex

Ladies, in having adult sex, whether it’s a one-night stand or not, there is one thing you should always keep in mind: If you do it with someone who is not thinking or not reflective on it, this is a red flag. Anyone who just dismisses something as intense as adult sex has zero respect for the other person or maybe themselves. I firmly believe that every sexual encounter warrants some reflection, although most of mine is filled with self-loathing and self-doubt.

Here is a peek at how my mind works right after having adult sex:

One-Night Stand

More often than not, one-nighters happen after a heavy bout of drinking has clouded my judgment. I absolutely hate that terrible feeling of waking up to realize that there is something different, and then it hits me like a rampaging school bus. I then realize that somebody random is in bed with me. If I’m unfortunate enough to wake up first, I lie in bed trying to piece together how I ended up there like a very difficult puzzle.

After a one-night stand, I always analyze my mental state. How did I end up doing this? Am I lonely? Am I losing self-respect?

Obviously, one-night stands are damaging to long-term partnerships because it’s an accelerated form of relationship. There is no courtship involved that leads up to sex. It’s difficult to get into a long-term relationship that’s not set on a comfortable pace that lets you go through a measured progression of unforgettable moments and lovely surprises.

Girlfriend

If you are in a serious relationship, you give more importance to performance. After sex, I always wonder if she enjoyed it, but it seems corny to ask her directly. This is the point where a debate starts in my head on whether she climaxed or faked it. In addition to this, I go over every tiny negative detail: What did it mean when she sort of laughed? And how embarrassing was that when the condom slipped off? It can only mean two things: either I wasn’t hard enough, or my penis was too small for it. And because I really don’t know if everything about it was good, I tend to dwell on the negative things.

I always try to be sensitive to a girl’s feelings right after sex. It’s rude to just roll off and leave after a guy “finishes his business.” It’s important to linger, laugh together, listen to good music, and yes, cuddle. I must admit that there is some psychological or physiological explanation as to why guys want to immediately move on doing something else as soon as they got off, but they should make a conscious effort to spend time with his woman after sex, even if they want to be at some other place.

Labels: adult dating, adult sex, hook up, hookup, sex dating

Online adult dating is a totally new way of looking for a romantic partner, but it actually simulates traditional dating in “real life” more than you think.

Here are a few examples:

People Love the Virtual Thrill of the Chase

A friend told me about his experience on one of the popular online adult dating services: Users make it known how selective they are. He points out that most attractive women with smart and interesting profiles indicate that they are “very selective” in who they connect with. This is not far from the bar scene where a hottie holding court in the room seems to be intimidating and tough to approach.

My friend is a little confused by this scenario. He thinks it’s shallow, but admits that if a woman responds to whoever contacts her, he is less inclined to find her attractive, even if he likes her profile. Conversely, if he gets a response from a girl who is very selective and responds rarely, he thinks he has done something right to deserve it, and feels more accomplished.

Freedom From Obligation

My friend spent a little time with an “attractive and intelligent” girl he met online. However, there was no spark, so he stopped responding to her messages and calls.

Because of the “virtual” nature of online adult dating, people don’t follow the standard protocol for rejection. If you’re dating a friend’s friend, or somebody you met in person, you might feel like you owe them an explanation. But what’s the point in continuing the charade? Dating online is all about efficiency.

Zapping People

In the essence of efficiency, my friend explained he only responds to women who look attractive on their profile pictures. This is very much the same in real life. I’ve also been told by another cut, funny and intelligent female friend who is into online dating as well that she gets a lot of messages, and she tries to respond to each one. But then it got too overwhelming, so now she simply deletes messages from guys who don’t look attractive in their profile photos without even reading them.

You Are an Advertiser

In the world of advertising, brands have a certain amount of time to throw a sales pitch to their potential customers. In just a short moment, the brand will attempt to make a big point by using a compelling image, strategy, and message.

Online dating is very similar to this. Writing short, but interesting messages to potential partners keep their attention. Who wants to read a long, boring message about your life? Telling just part of the story compels the reader to find out more.

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I have to admit that guys say girls are easier to hook up with when they’re on the rebound. A rebound occurs when someone has broken up, or even if that person is still in an adult dating relationship. People are considered to be on the rebound when they are hurting, or if they’ve decided that the relationship is about to come to a close.

Those who are released back into the dating “wild” can react in a variety of ways. They can be like that guy in the movie “Shawshank Redemption” where he’s gotten used to staying in prison that he couldn’t live any other way. I’m not saying that being in a relationship is like prison; what I mean is living in a relationship is different from living single. If you get too comfortable being in a long-term adult dating relationship, you might find yourself very confused when it ends, prompting you to seek companionship at any cost.

In my case, I react the other way when I get released back into the wild: I take time to reflect and try not to hook up or be involved with anybody for a while. I’ve heard that women do this as well. A girl’s friend told me: “She’s not looking for anything as of this moment. She got out of a long-term relationship that just ended recently.”

Just a few days ago, I felt sad to hear that a friend had been hooking up with a lot of random guys. I arranged to meet her in a bar and watched her as she scanned the crowd eagerly. I told her it was okay to go home alone once in a while, but she started to argue with me. After more arguing, I pushed her to see if she could give me a good reason for her recent behavior, until she finally said: “I’m still in love with my ex boyfriend.”

There you have it, the truth. So here was a friend on a major rebound. Eventually, that night, a shady looking dude came slithering in, and then they both went home together. Apparently, the two have been out adult dating for a bit, but of course, this wasn’t meant to be.

A successful relationship involves two people acting selflessly without ulterior motives. And all the random hookups happen when one of, or both of, the people involved just need someone because they are on the rebound.

The rebound asks this question: Is it possible that a woman choose to be with me, not because she’s into me, but because she needs me at the time our paths cross? Does it really matter to her who I am at all?

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Just like any normal guy, we tend to exhibit insane behavior, especially in our adult dating lives. We sometimes do stupid things, like making the mistake of generalizing women based on just a few experiences. But then I ask myself, when do us guys exhibit this kind of crazy behavior? Aren’t we experts in practicality? I pondered on this for a moment and then realized that I do have my ill-tempered days and random choleric outbursts although they rarely happen, I must say.

When I thought about the causes of all the stress and anger, I was quite surprised that even I also have my own insane reasons for explaining my cranky behavior when adult dating. So to even up the score, here are a few of my crazy reasons for male PMS:

My Sports Team Lost

Football is a brutal sport. First of all, games are on a Sunday, so when my team loses, I’m left with a baneful feeling of dreading work the next day and lamenting why my team didn’t just run on the crucial 4th and 1 instead of throwing an intercepted pass. I hit the sack thinking about the game, and I wake up still thinking about it. And just like a physical injury, it hurts more the next day. And just like any Baltimore sports fan, it makes me as miserable when the Orioles and the Maryland Terps lose games. I am incapable of doing anything even crack a smile. I do my very best not to take it out on the girl I’m out adult dating with, but there are times when it happens.

I Haven’t Masturbated for a Full Ten Minutes

Yes, this is an exaggeration, but guys do go mad when we aren’t able to satisfy ourselves at an acceptable rate. This reminds me of that old “Seinfeld” episode where the characters try to see how long they could go without pleasuring themselves. They all eventually became cranky by the end of the show.

Work Has Got Me Down

Work always will be universally annoying and frustrating. But why can’t we just leave our anger and frustration in the workplace? I know it’s irrational to be cranky towards somebody who has absolutely nothing to do with work, but unfortunately it happens.

Not Enough Time for Myself

It seems that it’s logical to get annoyed if you haven’t done something fun for a while, so there are times that I really need to decompress. For me, this means Baltimore sports, reading nonsensical stuff on Wikipedia, watching dumb shows on TV, coffee, lounging on the couch, coffee, cooking, and more coffee.

Obviously, I like it when a girl wants to see me, but I can get cranky if I don’t get time to do nothing on my own.

I Am Lost

I frequently get lost, but because I always think I’ll find a way out, I get annoyed when a girl recommends that I ask someone or consult a map.

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It’s quite easy to pick up a bad habit like falling for the same person for the second time, or having a steamy make out session with them after being caught in a moment of weakness even if you’ve already had a falling out. It’s easy, comfortable, and familiar. And there are times when you just want to prove that you can do it again, or that you still have power over them.

If you ask me, I think it’s not a good idea to hook up with your ex in most cases. Here are the reasons why making out or getting back together with an ex don’t work out:

You Can’t “Make It Like It Used to Be”

You know it’s the beginning of the end when you feel that things are not what they are used to be. You try to work things out together, but the spark is gone and the relationship has run its course. I’ve been in relationships where I seem so into it when I go to sleep at night, and then wake up the next day wondering why I didn’t feel it anymore.

You Broke Up for a Reason

There is always a reason why a couple breaks up, even if it’s “mutual.” And whatever this reason is or reasons are this means you’re not compatible. You will both undergo changes after the breakup, but there is not much of a chance of you changing and be suddenly compatible again.

It’s Tough for It to Feel “New”

The fun part of a relationship is the early stages, and the best ones retain an element of this throughout its duration. However, it’s pretty tough to find this feeling again if you try to hook up and get back together with someone you already broke up with.

You Might Be Giving In

It’s normal to swear somebody off after a breakup. You promised that you’ll never get back together with them, and you’ve learned what not to look for in a guy. While there’s always risks involved when getting back together with someone, you might feel you’re giving in a little, which is never a good attitude when dating someone. It’s tough to get back with an ex with a clear mind.

If It Ended on a Sour Note, You Might Be Looking Over Your Shoulder

This gives emphasis to the old question: “What makes you think it will be different this time around?” And if you get screwed over again, you feel twice as foolish.

Trust is the backbone of any relationship. It is a frustrating thing like building a sandcastle: It takes a lot of time to build, but can be destroyed quickly. And in the aftermath, it takes much more time and energy put it back up again, but it may never be that same.

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In a recent confession, Justin Theroux said Jennifer Aniston thinks it’s hot when he breakdances. So this instinctively made us think about the odd things women do that get men all riled up when they hookup besides, well, cleavage and a nice ass. We asked guys to share those irresistible moves girls do.

”If I talk or grunt too much when we hookup and have sex, my girl will put her hand over my mouth and clamp it shut which gets me even more aroused. I like the fact that she knows what she wants and doesn’t want and has no qualms in letting me know.” – Chris

”I love how my girl hates girly drinks. She often goes for scotch or vodka on the rocks, tequila, or beer. There’s this bad-girl vibe that makes it so hot.” – Brandon

”Whenever I’m busy doing something, like being immersed in work or playing a video game, she just knows when I’m hungry. She’ll just suddenly appear with a snack right when I’m dying to have one. It’s unbelievable!” – Adrian

”I find it sexy when she gets up for work, then decides to go back to bed with me for a while.” – Jeremy

”My gorgeous wife can really get into hockey games. She instantly switches to her thick New Jersey accent and yells at the TV. And when we go to actual games, she totally trash talks. It’s absolutely awesome.” – Mark

”I find it sexy when my girl goes to bed without completely washing off her makeup and wakes up with little black smudges around her eyes. It gives her this mysterious, smokey look.” – Allan

”It may be great when a girl takes care of herself physically, but a six pack can be intimidating. A soft midsection is way more of a turn on for me because it’s feminine and womanly.” – Sam

I went out to hookup with this girl who was pretty much reserved in her everyday life. But once in a while she would put on a faux tattoo for me to find, or clip on hot pink hair extensions which drove me wild. It made me feel like I was going to bed with a different person every time.” – Warren

”I love it when my girlfriend walks through the front door after a workout at the gym. She thinks she looks gross, but I find her sweaty body and disheveled hair is so arousing.” – Matt

”I find it the hottest thing ever when a woman laughs during sex because I know she’s having fun. Dudes wouldn’t want someone who is always serious and overly sensual.” – Adam.

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As females, there is always a serious twinge of anxiety when your man attends a bachelor party whether as the soon-to-be groom or just a guest you can’t help but think about what’s going to happen.

The horrific stories are endless: strippers, binge drinking, lap dances, some even hookup with prostitutes. You don’t think you’re man’s going to cross that line, but you also know that guys can make stupid decisions when egged on by his buddies. Well, here are a few facts that may be good news for girls who are attached, though it doesn’t do much good for the rest of us.

According to experts, it’s not the groom who is likely to cheat. But instead, it’s his buddies maybe because it’s their first raunchy boys’ night out in ages who might seriously misbehave.

However, bachelor’s parties don’t have to be a committed girl’s worst relationship nightmare. We asked the experts on how to cheatproof this kind of event.

• The Friend Factor

First, you should determine how an adult rated hookup gets started. The single guys are often the troublemakers who pressures their non-single buddies to loosen up on their morals a little or a lot. Regardless if they’re single or in a relationship, guys are always encouraged by their friends who want to find an excuse to party.

In addition, the younger guys in their 20s are more likely to go along than their older pals, when, say, a stripper is offering private performances in the bedroom. But the bottom line is nobody can be influenced unless they want to be.

• Define Your Terms

Your best bet is to be preventive: Since men and women have different definitions of what constitutes cheating, it’s important to make yours crystal clear.

While the thought of a half-naked woman grinding her lady bits onto your guy’s crotch might completely freak you out, he may think it’s perfectly harmless to get a lap dance. So present your concerns by approaching him in a nonthreatening, but straightforward way, like saying, “I would feel really uncomfortable if…”

The perfect time to set things clear is right after a good romp, when the love hormone oxytocin is raging through both your bodies. Point out that you’re willing to try new things in the bedroom because you have complete trust in him and know you’re the only girl he’s doing stuff like that in bed with. You can then figure out ways he can still have fun, on terms that you both agree with.

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There is absolutely nothing quite like a nice hookup then waking up in an unfamiliar bed lying next to an unfamiliar guy who is resting his unfamiliar parts all over your very familiar girly bits. It will suddenly dawn on you that you’ve awaken in somebody else’s house. So how exactly do you exit from of an awkward morning-after hookup situation without sneaking out of a half-awake guy’s window or admitting that you can’t remember what his name is?

The Family Outing M.O.

Memorize this by heart: “Oh no, I can’t believe it’s so late! I completely forgot that I’m supposed to go shopping/have brunch/do my taxes with my dad/older ex-Marine brother/increasingly senile gramps. By using the family card, he can’t suggest you blow it off without looking like a jerk, or casually invite himself along without looking like he’s trying to marry you.

The “Oh Shit, I Forgot to Take My Meds” M.O.

Jump out of bed and start to frantically search your purse while mumbling to yourself, “Wednesday, Thursday… What’s today again? How could I forget to take the pill three days in a row?” You can alternately substitute your birth control pill of choice for insulin injections, any kind of anxiety treatment drugs, etc.

The Crazy Girl M.O.

Stare at his forehead until he wakes up. And once he sees you staring at him, start bursting hysterically into tears. Go into fetal position, or sit while rocking back and forth, and talk about how you broke your commitment with your boyfriend or Jesus in between sobs.

The Clingy Hopeful M.O.

Make yourself comfortable and make it look like you’ve settled in quite nicely. Slip into one of his tees when he gets up to shower and follow him to the bathroom, all the while talking about not having any real plans for the day. Ask if he has an extra toothbrush that you could use, and then ask if it’s alright to leave it there for “the next time.” There is a good chance he will suddenly remember that he needs to go shopping/have brunch/do his taxes with his dad/older ex-Marine brother/increasingly senile gramps.

The Last Desperate Escape Through the Window M.O.

Request for a glass of water then skedaddle out of the window when he walks out of the bedroom. If you’re still in your shoes from last night, consider leaving them as a parting gift. This is a good way to avoid breaking your ankle as you drop from the fire escape.

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Will you look at that, the playa just scored a number. But what do you do now? Should you give her a call, or send her a text? How long do you have to wait before touching base? And what the hell are you supposed to say?!

Regardless of what your stand is on calling versus texting and time delay, there is one thing we can all agree on: What you say when you initiate contact is crucial. It’s basically a whole new way of making the first impression so you can successfully hook up. So let us look at a few text messages that should not be sent at all costs.

”Hey” or anything that is synonymous with “hey”

It is very impressive that you know how to write a three-letter word and press send, but this is, without question, the single most annoying word a person can text. I’m pretty sure a lot of guys are guilty of this let’s all stop pretending and this is the reason why it’s lame: It deliberately passes the burden of having something interesting to say to the other person you want to hook up with. It’s putting the lifeblood of a potential connection to that person’s lap, saying, “Here, you do it,” which is kind of pathetic really.

”Hi this is from Club Nuvo. So now you have my number.”

This may appear better than number 1, but it’s actually not. At best you come across as dull, so doubtful of your memorability that you have to remind her who you are and how you met. And at worst you sound cocky, having to point out your benevolence by letting her have your number. Women surely hate this, because it’s like having them say, “Dude, you asked for my number. Are you going to do something about it, or are you just going to take pleasure in the fact that we swapped numbers, which made your Friday night a little less depressing?”

”How are you?”

Who cares? The person you’re texting doesn’t give a shit because you only just met. Moreover, you’re once again giving the impression of dullness. You’ll probably get one obligatory response and nothing more, because you haven’t shown her anything that’s even remotely interesting.

”Guess who this is.”

It’s hard to believe that people actually do this, but you have to know that there is a fine line between being mysterious and creepy. Guessing games can be cute, fun, and flirty, but if it’s your first text to someone you just met, you not only run the risk of sounding creepy, but you may get an answer you don’t really want to receive.

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A serial dater acts like going for a hookup is his job. And apparently, online dating sites are full of this kind of people. I wouldn’t know though, because I was too busy running after these guys in real life. I would like to refer to this point in my life as “The Dark Period In My Twenties.”

The important thing to keep in mind is serial daters are never ready to settle down. They just like to hookup because they’re in it for the chase, and once they have you ensnared in their web or bed BAM, they’re gone like the proverbial ninja.

Here are six indications you should lookout for:

1. He’s a constant bachelor

He has this Clooney thing going on, but most likely not as good looking. The longest he’s been in a relationship is just for a couple of years, and then calls it off by using some lame excuse that won’t even hold up in the post office.

2. He charms the panties off of you… literally.

Once you two hookup and sleep together, he’s not as into you as he once was. Even having coffee with him the morning after sex takes on a dark atmosphere.

3. His eyes gloss over once you start talking about yourself or your interests.

He’d rather keep the talks focused more on what’s important: himself. If he starts talking about himself in the third person, run away as fast as you can.

4. He makes promises he can’t keep.

It’s not that he has to go away to work on a big project, he’d just rather go out with this hot girl he met at a club last night.

5. Work is the most important thing to him.

It defines who he is. You’ll be hearing him saying, “I’m going to be huge,” and “I got to go make loads of money.”

6. After going out on a few dates, he’s going to start talking about how fucked up he is.

And how he feels he may be confused or depressed. You’ll think, “Poor guy, I can help.” I would like to think of this move as preparation for his grand exit. It’s really just another way of saying, “It’s not you, it’s me.” And yes, it’s definitely not me, you douchebag.

I’m not sure if this article has made me feel more angry or stupid. Either way, you have to believe me when I tell you that you have to avoid these men like the plague. Unless, of course, you’re looking for material for whatever it is you need it for. Then, by all means, do what you have to do.

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Someone told me recently that 90 percent of people regret the first person they have sex with, but they figure now that they are no longer virgins, there’s no sense in stopping. But if you’re somebody who is severely bothered by regret, it would totally make sense if you made through high school a virgin. And college. And grad school. And, well, you get the picture. The next thing you know, you’re a in your late twenties who’s done everything except have real life adult sex.

Don’t downplay your V-card

You probably haven’t met the right person yet, or you always got nervous and copped out, or maybe it was a combination of these things and him not having a condom, or right when you were about to have adult sex, somebody set the house on fire.

However, it really doesn’t matter, and don’t attempt to pass it off as circumstance. The fact is, you always had a choice, and you chose to wait. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, nor is it something other people should use as a standard for judgment. It’s just who you are, so be proud!

Tell people

You’re sitting at a table in a bar with your girl friends when somebody regales everyone with a crazy sex position she tried the night before, and they you go, “Haha! Yeah, that. I do that ALL the time,” the whole time playing that scene of “The 40-Year Old Virgin” in your mind where Steve Carell go called out for remarking that a woman’s breast feels like a bag of sand. Is this really what you want?

You don’t have to tell everyone, but it would be good to tell your closest friends.

But at some point, you should stop listening to their advice

Sometimes your guy friend who sleeps around would be like, “You’re missing out a lot! This is the hottest time we will ever gonna be,” and then your girl friends go,”Urm, it’s not really that much of a big deal, so just do it with a random guy you meet at a bar. The conflicting points will eventually become overwhelming, at which point you have to be like, “Shut the fuck up, everyone.”

Wait a little bit before telling the person you’re dating, but tell him nonetheless.

So if you’re considering not telling him and just lie there, that is one big mistake. He won’t know if he has to hold back physically the first time, and if he eventually figures it out, he might feel deceived. A lie of omission is not exactly a good way to start a relationship.

If everything seems to be going well, you could casually mention on the third or fourth date that you’ve never done it before. If he stays, he’s a keeper. But if he bails, he’s a dick. Forget him.

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One reader’s predicament in her adult dating relationship that I recently came across with got me thinking about how much more of a hater BFF than the girlfriend.

Anyway, I’ve been having quite a tough time dealing with my friend’s boyfriend lately. We got off on a good start, but it has become increasingly apparent to me that this guy is a complete pussy. So in behalf of the pernickety BFF, here are a few reasons you might want to check out why your female friends may hate your boyfriend.

He makes you sad

Herp derp. If he’s treating you bad, we’re definitely not going to act like it’s okay.

He thinks his shit doesn’t stink

When he acts “over” everything, it’s not the way to endear yourself to people especially his girlfriend’s friends.

He flirts with other girls

Seriously?

He says bad things about me to her even if they will surely get back to me

Aha! What?! After that badly-executed slip by my best friend at the salon, now I’m suddenly “the kind of girl who needs constant validation,” and “if it was him, he wouldn’t put up with that kind of behavior.” Wow, thanks man.

At least one or more of his pals suck

I mean seriously suck. Like womanizing, pretentious, obnoxious, and manipulative suck.

Social moodiness

He has the ability to ruin nights because of his ineptitude to act a civilized human being around large groups of people when he’s out adult dating with my best friend. It happens frequently that I can’t even remember the last time my friend turned to us to apologize, saying, “Sorry about him, he’s just in a bad mood lately.” At which point the evening culminates with him dragging my best friend home early.

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Don’t know how to break up with your man amicably? Here are five adult dating tips that assure you’ll get your stuff back.

1. Right Place, Right Time

Choose the best way to communicate wisely. Stay away from using Facebook, text and email messaging, and phone calls at all cost. Not only are these methods impersonal, but they can also be considered cheeky. If you and your man live in different places and won’t be seeing each other for quite some time, then it’s probably fine to communicate via phone, but be sure to have enough talk time sans any kind of interruption.

Arrange for a place that isn’t too public when you break the unfortunate news. It’s uncomfortable enough to have strangers around during this rather sensitive event. Find some place where you can have privacy.

Do not break up on a holiday or during a special event, like your anniversary. This can make it more emotional for him when it happens on a sentimental day. Refrain from breaking up with him during a fight or when you’re angry and not in full control of your emotions, which is a common mistake couples make. Make the decision when you’re calm and collected.

2. Explain Thoroughly and Listen Carefully

Makes sure you have enough time to explain all the reasons why it’s not working with him. It may come as a shock, so sit down and break it to him gently. Say everything that’s on your mind without being insensitive and inconsiderate. It already hurts to know that you’ll be upsetting him, but if you make him feel that you care, he can be more understanding with all things considered.

3. Restrict the Gossip

It’s fine to ask for advice from your best friend, but out of respect to your soon to be ex, make sure you do not tell too many people, especially if you have a lot of mutual friends. He’ll be mortified if everyone else knows before he does.

4. Give Him Space

You might be inclined to try and make him feel better if he gets upset, but doing so can make it seem like you’re still together. It’s great to show you care, however, it’s also important to distance yourself because he’ll have a tougher time to get over you if you’re always around. Space and time are essential tools needed to help you both move on easier.

5. Move On

Don’t think of the end of your adult dating relationship as a failure, but think of it as an important learning experience. Knowing the things that worked and those that didn’t work can help you evolve in your next adult dating relationship. Don’t focus on the bad things that happened. Just learn from your mistakes and make them the reasons to grow in maturity.

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Are you nervous about an impending first date? Fret not, for we have a step-by-step adult dating guide to give you lowdown on what to expect so you can shine!

Getting Ready

When you open the door for him, you want him to think, “Wow,” but without looking like you’re trying too hard. Maintain the balance by matching your sexy jeans with a nice off-shoulder tee or a fantastic strappy tank something that shows a bit of skin but not too skanky. Give yourself an extra 30 minutes to get ready, so you don’t have to hurry or make him wait.

At the Door

Even if you talk frequently, the first official moments of a real date can get nerve-wracking because of so much build up. Just be cool and calm his jitters by giving him a nice greeting of a warm hello and quick hug. You can even crack a joke just to break the tension and diffuse any pressure.

On the Way

You may be inclined to ask a lot of questions to get him to open up, but that can make him feel like he’s in a job interview. What you can do to keep the conversation moving instead is make funny observations like saying, “Do you ever make eye contact with other drivers at a red light? I hate it when that happens!” Don’t worry about awkward pauses you can always default to asking what’s on his music player. Since he selected the songs, he’s sure to have things to say about it.

At Dinner

If you’re not sure about him picking up the tab or how much food you can order, ask what he’s getting and order a dish around the same price range. When the check comes, offer to split or share. If he insists on paying, don’t push it. Just thank him and offer to buy him a drink next.

Saying Goodnight

If you want to go adult dating with him again, bring up something you talked about earlier (“So when do I get the chance to kick your butt in Dance Central?”) Are you ready for a kiss? Don’t rush to get in the house when he drops you off. Move closer to him without losing eye contact. If he takes your hint, he’ll lean in for the kiss!

The Next Day

Just be cool and let him make first contact. Texting him first can make you look overly excited. If he’s into you, chances are you’ll be hearing from him by the end of the day. While waiting, enjoy that awesome rush you get after a fantastic date it’s exciting to not know what’s going to happen next!

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In these modern times, I think it is the perfect time to stop being a society in denial and admit that everybody wants sex as much as they do. And most people look for sex or porn in the internet. The internet is a place of all sorts and adult sex dating sites is one of the realities of the internet-dating world. Not everyone is looking for a relationship. Some are just looking for a date to spend the night – in bed. Dating sites that are specific about their intent and their demographic are quite readily available online, with varying names – some famous and some not. Whatever sex dating site you are already interested in, here are a few tips that you can use to get the most from sex dating sites.

Women are not Conservative: These sites offer a unique and beautiful playing field for women. Some people scoff at these types of casual sex sites, thinking that illicit sexual encounters are sexist. Not true! A sexual encounter of any kind will not discriminate against a woman unless she makes the mistake of acting like a member of a weaker class. A woman’s sensual self confidence is empowering. The tip that women must remember when engaging in a love encounter online is that you can take what you need from sex, but realize up front what it is you need…and don’t be needy. You don’t have to be!

Profile with a Purpose: When you prepare your profile online, do not forget for one moment that you are marketing yourself. Post a picture that is clear and shows you at your best. If your best asset is your ass, then show it off. Then back it up by copywriting some clever, fun, intriguing information about you. When you are looking at the profiles of potential partners, be open but be discriminate. You are not desperate (or you shouldn’t be). Take control of the sexual encounters that you agree to from the sites.

Have Sex – And Sex Only. Many people, most often women, make the mistake of believing that a casual sex encounter will grow into something more permanent. But realize this with sex dating sites geared toward no strings attached situations; the guys are here because they want sex without the attachment. It doesn’t matter how earth shattering the sex may be, when you are having sex with a guy and they use phrases like: “I don’t want to get tied down”. Or “All I want is a fun relationship”. Then take them at their word and do not secretly make yourself believe that you will reel them in with a sex hook. Not all women want or need to have a committed relationship. There is no shame in that. Know what you want and then go for it.

Sex dating sites give you a perfect opportunity to meet people with your same interests, with your same sexual desires and needs, and with your same goals. You can weed through a lot more prospects online than you would sitting at a bar sipping martinis. The faster you weed, the more crops you can harvest! Remember to post a shining profile and chat with purpose. But most of all, remember to have fun! That’s what dating is all about anyhow and as adults we get to have adult sexual play dates with all the benefits.

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Let’s face it, in the adult dating world, not everyone wants to get serious. Not everyone is exactly seeking a girl or boy to take home to mama. And that is when adult dating sites are born. Even though statistics said that there are successful marriages that come from adult dating online, adult dating sites are still more designed for those seeking fun and amorous dating. This includes casual sex as well as exploring of fantasies and fetishes.

Casual sex is a big part of adult dating and personals in general. In fact, it is what drives the adult dating industry. After all, the same people who seek these types of liaisons in bars and nightclubs have discovered a better venue in online dating: a much better venue. You see, adult online dating beats the bar scene hands down in that you don’t have to guess who wants what in an adult dating site: it is all spelt out right there in black and white.

The first thing you need to do when seeking adult dating online is to sign up with a reputable dating site. This is one even more important than when signing up for other types of dating. Why? Well, the nature of adult personals is that they attract all types of people. It is safe to say that “bad” types of people will be found in an adult dating site. After all, these are people who don’t hide the fact that they are… well, bad (you know, by societal norms). Therefore, you should sign up with a reputable paid dating site. Why not a free dating site? You want to avoid free adult dating sites simply because they attract a huge number of curiosity seekers and people of ill intentions. No one in his/her right state of mind is going to pay a fee to sign up with an adult dating service “just to see what’s going on there”.

Also, criminal elements like to hang out in free dating sites (including non-adult ones) simply because they know they can hide much more easily. With a paid dating service you can always be traced using the credit card you used to pay your membership fee – unless, of course the card itself is a stolen one.

Next, create a catchy screen name. Just another "hotsandsexyjen24" or "jakethestud" will not get you far. Try to make it more distinctive and meaningful.

Your picture is perhaps the most important aspect of your adult dating profile. You should post more than one if the site allows. This is where you put your best assets out there. In other words, flaunt it if you have it. No, this does not necessarily mean nudity. Rather, you should attempt to bring out your most attractive physical attributes in the picture. This could be your bosom, bottom, eyes, lips… well, if you have something that people including strangers complement you on, this is what you should attempt to show in the photo.

You also need to write a good personal profile. Adult dating profiles differ from other types of dating in that you are seeking sex or fun partners, not a date in the traditional sense. Go ahead and use adult language – it is the essence of the game. Just say what you want and what you bring. Read other profiles that you like to get an idea and model (but don’t copy) them.

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A lot of relationships begin in the same way: two people hookup, both parties cling to every word they say, every breath they take and every move they make. All is fine and dandy in the beginning of a serious relationship, but how will you know if you and your partner will make it past the three-month hookup mark? How will you know if she is the right girl for you?

I Love You Right This Moment

Generally, there seems to be nothing going wrong with relationships at its early stages. Couples are inclined to agree on almost everything. But unfortunately, there are times when they eventually grow out of these simple agreements and eager displays of affection.

And then there are times when those famous three words are said with uncontainable feelings all bared. Although, saying “I love you” is not always the right direction to go in. Those words should be reserved and only uttered at the appropriate time. It’s not a statement that you should be taken for granted, and tossed around like rice at the end of a wedding ceremony.

It goes without saying that being sincere in saying you truly care about your significant other is worth a lot more than falsely claiming you love her, and lying just only jeopardizes a potentially wonderful relationship. This applies to both the man and the woman in a relationship, since they sometimes both have the uncontrollable urge to intensify their emotions by projecting their affections to each other. This doesn’t mean couples won’t have the capacity to truly love each other, but they simply shouldn’t get caught up in certain happy moments, and then say things they don’t really mean.

Show Her the Goods

I’m sure you’ve heard of the adage “actions speak louder than words,” and this rings especially true in a romantic relationship. There are times when we have become so accustomed to hearing the same old thing many times over that for words to make any sort of impact at all, they need to be backed up by actions. So the next time you want tell your girl how important she is in your life, don’t forget to show her how you feel.

You don’t have to go to extreme measure to do so, like buying her a high-carat diamond ring. You can show it in smaller ways like giving her a massage or taking her on a getaway trip. It’s so easy to tell a woman how you feel, but can you prove it?

Although couples in a romantic relationship endure without saying “I love you,” there are many ways of showing affection to one another. The trick is to know how to spot them.

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I’m pretty sure almost everyone has gone through an adult dating relationship with a jealous partner at one point in their lives. The usual scenario is that guys are the jealous ones in an adult dating relationship, but we’ve also seen some poor fellow get interrogated by his girl after shooting a look at some blond with a mini skirt. There are a few guidelines one must follow to effectively deal with this kind of problem, and avoid turning a flattering situation into an ugly mess.

Who Are You Looking At?

Do you remember the time when you got caught looking at the “second most attractive girl” in the room? Studies say 80 percent of guys in relationships will confess it was a few days ago, while the other 20 percent are most likely lying. An innocent glance at an attractive woman doesn’t necessarily mean unhappiness or indifference to your lady love.

The reason is pretty simple: Everyone is drawn to look at attractive things, and this is only an indication that we are still keen to notice and appreciate beauty in this world even if it happens to be a tall, brown haired, long legged woman that could easily qualify to be one of the Victoria’s Secret models.

However, when your adult dating partner sees you feasting on eye candy from across the room, a surge of questions are formed: “What are you looking at? Do you know her? Who the hell is she? Do you think she’s more gorgeous than I am?” This deluge of demanding questions can make any eloquent man stutter in his effort to think of a good response.

What our girls need to understand is even if we’re head over heels in love with them, that doesn’t mean all other women start looking like Janet Reno.

Who Is the Fairest of Them All?

Women have this constant need for affirmation. And when you are caught looking at another, this becomes more important. This is the reason why women always need to hear that they are still as gorgeous as the first time you saw them.

This doesn’t mean saying something nice to your girl; it must be said with sincerity because girls are very aware of this. But if the situation starts to become tense and she starts asking questions like, “Do you think she is attractive?” just saying “no” is not enough. You should reinforce the renunciation by saying she looks way better. “Are you kidding? You’re ten time more attractive than her.”

What Does This Mean?

In looking at the whole scenario in a certain perspective, what does it all mean? It can be surmised that these jealous women really love and care for us; they just have a weird way of showing it. So as a rule of thumb, always be attentive to your woman’s needs. We may not avoid letting our eyes wander about, but we can at least be appreciative of our girl’s beauty too.

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Whenever you go adult dating, a part of you hopes and prays your next will be your last, and she’ll be “The One.” You hope the relationship will magically and effortlessly develop into something good, and at the same time madly fall in love, but is she really “The One?”

Addicted to Love

Like illegal drugs, a love high can make us do crazy stuff. You’ve probably heard of stories of friends who flew to Vegas to tie the knot with a woman he barely knew because he was under the influence of love.

When we feel lust or are on our way to falling in love, we tend to disregard a lot of negative characteristics about that person because we just feel so right. We earnestly ditch any bad vibe that can ruin our love high. We voluntarily ignore what’s right under our noses.

If you’ve managed to make poor choices without much effort due to your love high state when adult dating, you are not alone. It is common knowledge that relationships that are entered hastily and solely based on love high never last long. Once you go down from that high, you’ll have to scale that steep mountain of negative vibe that you threw out.

Whether you’re currently in love or still trying to find “The One,” what is important is to know yourself first and foremost. The most effective way to find “The One” is to know how to weed out those who are not for you.

Is She “The One?”

To have an idea of what you need in a relationship, ask yourself these crucial questions:

1. What five traits you think are totally necessary in a woman?
2. What are your long-term plans and goals for the relationship?
3. What are your deal breakers?

Know What You Want

Once you’ve answered all three questions, you will have a better sense of what you want and need in a relationship, and if that love high you’re feeling is based on real love or just lust. Guys often make mistakes upon entering a relationship because they are not aware of their wants and needs. They tend to neglect the things that are most important in being in a relationship.

Check Your List

The next time you’re out adult dating and you start thinking if she’s the one, go over your list. Make sure that woman has all the qualities you are looking for in a partner. If she’s missing an important ingredient, it is very likely the relationship will not last long. If she has everything, expect the relationship to be comfortable, with an emotionally stable woman who can give you fantastic, mind-blowing sex.

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For guys who are too chicken to call it off, let your hot girls do it for you.

• Quit Listening

It’s quite obvious, but if your man is ignoring the little things you say then it just means he’s not listening most of the time. As soon as your girl starts telling you about how awful her day was, just stare into space and say, “Oh well, never mind,” and maybe whistle while you pretend to do something more interesting.

• Lie

If you want to have a night out with the boys, that’s totally fine. However, don’t agree to meet her, call her from a pub, drunk, and tell her you’re still stuck at work.

• Run Up Some Debt

Take a nice deliberate plunge into the red, because for women, it’s a huge no-no to be in a lot of debt. It conveys gross irresponsibility, and it would make hot girls think you’re not capable of taking care of them if they got married and have children with you. The problem with this is you’ll wind up with potentially debilitating credit card bill payments and a likely visit from some burly Russian with intentions of breaking your legs. On the bright side, you’ll have a huge new TV.

• Be Needy

If you want a guaranteed way for your girl to dump you, treat her like your mother. I don’t mean letting her walk you to work or asking her to check for monsters under your bed, no. By becoming unpleasantly dependent, she will soon be convinced that she might be better off with a cat and having an occasional seat on the spin dryer. Don’t put your chin under your girl’s chin. It’s freakin’ weird.

• Pretend to be Illiterate

Many hot girls can’t stand to be with guys who don’t read books, although, it has not been specified if reading the side of cereal boxes and stressing about the proper intake of folic acid count as reading.

• Keep Your Wallet Closed

Have you ever seen Scrooge McDuck with a pretty lady duck hooked to his arm? It’s not because he has this weird thing about only hanging with young boys, but women don’t like to be with mean guys (or duck). Never offer to pay, and don’t make a big deal out of it. Just act as if it’s only normal for her to give you a free ride. Splitting costs is totally fine with women, but being stingy is not.

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