Dates for Sex

New York adult dating is always an adventure. You never know if a particular night out will turn into a catastrophe, a one hell of a sex night or a sudden destiny of true love. In short, to date in new York is like a roller coaster ride. It would be nice if we New York daters will have some sort of an expert guide about the dating rules in New York and what not to do. Fortunately, I’ve met some relationship experts yesterday and beg them (literary) to share some tips on how to find love or how to have a good New York adult dating experience. Read on and learn.

The hardest part of New York Adult Dating
Expert 1 says: I have to say that New York City is harder for women. There are 200,000 more single women than single men in the Big Apple, so men are kings here, they can actually date two or more women if they like. And also I will be the first one to admit that most NYC men have a little bit of an entitlement issue when it comes to women, even if they are dating many themselves. Also their mentality is such that if the woman they are on a date with isn’t giving them exactly what they want, they have no problem ending the date abruptly and moving on to the next woman, who they believe is around the corner waiting in desperation to go out with them. Plus, many times these men are in absolutely no hurry to commit to one woman. Well, why should they be? They have way too many options with all of the single women out there more than willing to go out with them. A lot of women in New York start to compromise what they really want in a man just to have a dating life. The best way for a woman to date in New York City is to keep it casual and make sure that any man interested in her understands that she is dating other guys.

Best places to meet great guys in New York
Expert 2 says: I recommend uncontrived environments: Central Park dog runs, Whole Foods and running clubs. Charity events and volunteer groups are also great. Chelsea Piers and Harry’s Cafe on Wall Street are also very great places to date.

Best places to meet great women in New York
Expert 2 says: I like the fashion district and the West Village, as well as the cosmetic departments in the three B’s: Bloomingdales, Bergdorf Goodman and Barneys.

Common New York adult dating mistakes
Expert 3 says: Guys make these mistakes: They do not follow through, They ask questions about a woman’s romantic past, They have lost the ability to be chivalrous, They do not communicate well, They can be emotionally unavailable and are always busy. Girls make these mistakes: They call guys first, They sleep with men too soon, They ask the guy to define the relationship, They are too available, They allow everything to be on the man’s terms

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As a long time New Yorker, I still cant find a word to best describe the New York adult dating scene. I’ve been through many ups and down in New York and I can say that there is nothing more horrifying and magical than dating in New York City. It is like a roller coaster ride. One time you are both truly in love, other times, it’s just a freaking hookup session. So for all you New York adult dating people out there, here are the pros and cons of dating in New York.

Pros of New York Adult Dating

It really is magical. The stereotype is true – New Yorkers don’t know how to slow the fuck down. We most fast, multitask everything, and we can do this all on autopilot without absorbing anything that goes on around us. But when we’re on a date with someone we like, we’re different. We suddenly become aware of hidden Dim Sum restaurants and alleyways we’re certain didn’t exist until five minutes ago. When you’re with someone new in New York, it feels like you’re seeing everything for the first time. In some ways, you are.

A good date doesn’t have a price tag on it. New Yorkers doesn’t care how cheap or how expensive their dates are. What’s important is they’ve enjoy it. Gone are the days of expensice restaurant dating. Ride the free Staten Island Ferry, eat franks along the way, get booze later and have the happiest time of your life.

There are tons of options. There are just a lot of young, single people in New York. They all belong to one dating website or another, they’re out every night of the week, they’re going to the gym, and they’re sauntering up to you while you’re trying to get the bartender’s attention.

Cab rides. There is nothing like making out in the back of a yellow cab. Nothing. And New York is known for doing this hookup.

Cons of New York Adult Dating

Everyone knows everyone. New York is like a fucking college campus, down to catching your friend on her bi-weekly walk of shame while you’re on your way to work. You can hit it off with someone who seemed like they moved to New York for you; just to be charming and interesting with a side of mind-blowing sex, but when you finally look them up on Facebook the reality is much bleaker than that. You have 13 mutual friends – the guy who broke your heart, your cousin Mickey, the girl who interned with you in 2007, your next-door neighbor, it just doesn’t end.

Buyer’s Remorse. Sometimes we get in a slump and date the first person that seems like they’re interested – and then, perhaps around Date #3, we meet their friend. Their friend! The one we should’ve been with our entire lives. They are so perfect. They are so remarkable and hot. WHY. The person you’re dating is always friends with your future spouse.

Been there, done that. When you have a favorite block, or restaurant, or bar, or neighborhood, it’s expected that you’ll share them with the person you’re dating. In turn, they’ll take you to their places. And you’ll create memories in those places. It’s all very romantic. Eventually, you’ll break up; And then one day, you’ll be walking down St. Mark’s Place with a friend. “That’s where I did karaoke with Tom!” Ten feet later. “That’s where I was standing when John broke up with me on the phone!” One block later. This is where I got a tattoo with Sam.” And that’s when it hits you. You’ve been leaving memories all over the city like you’re the fucking Easter bunny preparing for an egg hunt. And those memories? They’re all spoiled and gross now.

Everyone is Busy Everyone in New York is either busy, a flake, or both. Even people who don’t have jobs are busy. You will utter the words, “He’s just busy” so many times that even you don’t believe it anymore. This is the nature of the game; you are a bad, busy, flaky person. And so is everyone you date. This is the game of flake in New York adult dating. Embrace it or die alone.

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