Dates for Sex

Talk about swingers, their swinger bar and their unique lifestyle has been out there for decades so we’ve decided to do a bit of research and fill you in on the basics, in case, like us, you were wondering what it’s all about. After reading this, you might want to give it a shot and add some spice to your current relationship or your dating life in general, ’cause yes, you can join even if you’re single!

Swingers are defined as people who engage freely in promiscuous sex by exchanging or swapping sexual partners for their own pleasure. Thus defined, we have swinger men, swinger women and swinger couples. Apparently, couples are most successful in finding swapping partners. Then come women since many couples are looking to add a single lady to their encounters. Last in success rate come swinger men since there’s always some hesitation regarding their motives and whether or not they truly embrace the swinger lifestyle or just pretend to do so for occasional kicks. It is said that the origins of this movement date back to the military families stationed abroad during World War II but it’s only a speculation.

Although swinging is all about freedom and having a good time, there are rules to ensure that everybody will enjoy themselves and not just a few. The absolute golden rule is, “no definitely means no”! When told no or asked to stop something, you do it immediately and without arguing. There are other principles which are also important to respect:

1. You and your partner should never attempt to break up a marriage. Remember you are there to have a good time and leave, not immerse yourself in drama.

2. When a date is made, always keep up to it or else give ample time of notice for changing circumstances. This seems to be a courtesy for everyday life that people are tending to forget.

3. It is important to keep the first meeting on a “no strings attached” basis. You and your partner should be prepared to swing if it is mutually agreed or to give an honest answer if something does not work out. As with any other dating situation, attraction is indispensable so if there is no chemistry, you should never feel forced to have to go ahead and engage in sexual activity.

4. You never under any circumstances exercise pressure on your partner to swing. The minute somebody agrees to something they are not completely convinced about, problems will come up.

5. It is suggested that you and your partner restrict discussions of swinging to known swingers and interested individuals seeking information. Otherwise, what is a lifestyle, a choice for life, becomes a joke for others who don’t understand it; thus giving them leverage to criticize and attack it by deforming facts.

6. Be wise and protect the anonymity of other swingers by abstaining from unauthorized “name dropping.” Because of the great prejudices and misconceptions surrounding this lifestyle, many swingers choose to protect their privacy so this choice in lifestyle doesn’t negatively affect other spaces of their life. You owe them the same respect.

7. For the sake of other swingers, always maintain the highest standards of personal cleanliness and appearance. This should be a rule of thumb for all dating but some people don’t follow thru. In fact, all clubs have dress code where the motto is “dress to impress”.

8. Be smart and don’t engage in any unlawful activity that would harm the reputation of other swingers as a group. Drugs, excessive alcohol use, sex with minors, etc…all these are conducts which are considered unacceptable within the community and which further contribute to the misconceptions around it.

9. Always be friendly and warm with your swing partners. Be understanding that there is a type of emotional involvement, which is properly reserved for a spouse or “primary significant other.” Important here to remind you, once more, that the primary relationship will always, must always take precedence and as such, as a swinging partner, there will be spaces which you will never, must never seek to penetrate.

10. Lastly, remember to show respect for the personal attitudes and feelings of other swingers. All individuals are different and come to this “party” with a set of rules of their own. Don’t assume anything and make sure everything is crystal clear from the get go.

The key social behaviors that tend to be appreciated in the swinging community are responsibility, friendliness, flirtatiousness, open-mindedness, and most importantly stability with regard to one’s primary relationship. It’s important to understand that swinging is viewed as a way to enhance a current relationship and not a way to replace a failed one. It’s crucial that you and your partner are very in tune to one another’s needs and fears so that you can experiment and then always come back to a successful and fulfilling primary relationship.

Especially in the case of new swingers, jealousy tends to be an issue at times. You must understand that this is a deviation from what is socially expected and as such requires, in most cases, that people rid themselves of a lot of preconceptions they’ve lived with most of their life. Patience is of the essence here, but furthermore, constant reassurance from one another, that the primary relationship continues to be the priority. No swinging experience should leave one of the partners feeling unwanted or disregarded. This is crucial to the success of this lifestyle. If jealousy attacks should take place, it’s always best to leave the activity and resolve them on your own…there will always be other clubs, other parties, other couples to swing with, but there might only be this chance to correct a situation which is fundamental to the preservation of the relationship.

If you are sold on the idea of swinging and swinger nightclub and would like to try it out, there are two ways to go about it. You can pay membership to a club, which tends to be costly and does not guarantee that you will have sex…what goes on inside is up to the people participating in the activity. There are only a few spots reserved for newcomers and even if you were to get in, it’s important to say that a lot of what goes on in these parties and clubs might be a bit too much to handle for beginners; you don’t want to overwhelm yourself.

The other way to go is the placement of an ad in specialized forums, usually for free or for a small fee. It’s important to understand that although much cheaper, the ad option will imply a lot of back and forth writing until you find the couple that best suits you. If you’re looking for instant gratification, then this is not the way to go.

Hopefully, the information given here has provided you with enough elements to make an informed decision on whether this is an option for you as an individual, or for your relationship. You need not be married to join as a couple but a strong solid bond is most recommended. Remember the key is in clarity, absolute respect and a keen ear and eye to make sure your partner is enjoying the experience as much as you are. If for any reason, discomfort should arise, it’s of the utmost importance that it be discussed immediately before the situation gets out of hand. Be safe and enjoy what could very much be the pepper you needed to rekindle the flame in your relationship!

Labels: adult dating services, dating as an adult, free single sites, online singles sites, swinger bar, swinger nightclub online dating web site

Yes, a player tends to bend some social rules but that doesn’t mean he’s a total sociopath! Some people tend to associate being a player with a man who doesn’t take care of himself and loads up on drugs and alcohol; nothing furthest from the truth. If you want to attract prime quality ass and hot girls to call, you have to be at your best. If you’re a junkie all you’re going to hook up with are other junkies and ho’s! To get your shit together, in case you aren’t already in place, we provide you with some useful tips:

1. Healthy food and exercise. Greatly missed are those days when you could gulp fast food on a daily basis and still look hot without your shirt on…then again, back in those days you were only a kid, with no valuable knowledge about women. Today you have become a well respected player but six packs don’t come naturally to you anymore…you gotta work at them! This implies watching what you put in your mouth, to make sure it’s healthy and will contribute to your ultimate goal. Additionally, you need to pick up some sort of physical activity that will tone you up and keep you in the loop of things.

2. Moderate alcohol consumption and absolutely no drugs. A few drinks here and there can help take the edge off some situations but seriously, is there anything more ridiculous than a drunk? A true player will never need alcohol to muster the courage to speak to a woman and he will never take home a drunk woman who isn’t well aware of where she’s going and why. Same goes for other drugs… there’s absolutely nothing attractive about them.

3. Proper protection. Remaining a player relies mostly on the fact that you are healthy and strong. There’s nothing sexy about an STD so believe us when we say condoms should be your best friends!

Following these guidelines implies a positive and healthy lifestyle which will surely translate into quite a bit of women flocking your way. Hookup with girls will definitely be easy for you.

Labels: adult dating services, dating as an adult, free single sites, hookup with girls, hot girls to call, online dating web site, online singles sites

Dating as an adult is complicated than just dating or picking up partner in sex only. Most of the girls are having problems with their man’s mom to the point that they are really getting into their heads and life. Ladies, I’d love to say I have the recipe for a good relationship with your guy’s Mom, but in all honesty, I’m far from figuring out mine. All I can offer are important suggestions that you need to take into consideration before you decide to make this man a steady part of your life….because whether you want it or not, his Mom is part of the package! So here are some relationship advice for you.

1. We all have a role in our families of origin. What is your guy’s? Look into that, thoroughly, ’cause if he’s been substituting the father figure in any way, to his Mom, you’ll be the bitch who stole her “husband”…as messed up as that might sound, it happens!

2. Make sure your man gives you the importance you deserve in his mother’s eyes. If that’s not the case, the chances of this woman respecting you, are slim to none.

3. Try to lead a healthy and happy relationship mostly for your sake and that of your man… but chances are if she sees her son is happy, you’ll start to grow on her somewhat.

4. From experience I tell you, have a cordial but distant relationship with your guy’s mom. As women, we know our relationships tend to be complicated, so too much time together can lead to troubles.

5. Avoid controversial topics that can lead to heated discussions. And if they inevitably come up, don’t take the bait, ignore it or gently switch the topic.

6. Look at the mom as the role model your guy grew up with. Is she a career woman or is she a stay-at-home Mom? Chances are, the same will be expected of you if your relationship turns into a serious one. Don’t assume anything, discuss it thoroughly with your man.

If you are very lucky, you will be embraced by your partner’s mother; sadly enough, that is not usually the case, at least not straight up. Chances are you’ll probably be tempted to work at it but my suggestion is don’t exhaust yourself going at it. In the end, the relationship you should be throwing your energy into is that with your man. As long as you show his mom respectful distance and cordial ways, you should be ok.

Labels: adult dating services, dating as an adult, free single sites, online dating web site, online singles sites, relationship advice

A man’s ego resides in his dick; we all know that. This is why men boast about their size and performance and would pay anything to gain some inches…’cause deep down inside, no matter how big it is, it can never be big enough! Just look around you at the growing industry of products geared to making it bigger and harder….it’s multi-millionaire! But do you need big size to hookup with girls ?

I’m sure the first reference you ever had to sex were your Dad’s well-hidden porn magazines…or a friend’s porn stash… thing is, you grew up watching 10-12 inch dicks as the normal standard, when chances are, you have a 5-7 inch weaner, which is the absolute standard. It’s funny how, when questioned, men think that the average dick is around 8 inches, that is well, above the real average…and so they end up feeling inadequate as far as their size.

Then there’s all this talk about performance… and performance meaning how long you can last, how hard it was and how many times you came. Last time you were in a locker room, did you ever hear a guy boast about how many orgasms he gave his partner? Quite unlikely. This is why the Viagra industry simply exploded and has made millions… you’d think it’s a bunch of old geezers trying to get it up…but let me tell you a lot of Viagra is being consumed by young guys just like yourself who believe they need to be ready to go whenever, and who even then, don’t feel like they are performing according to social expectations.

There’s even clear examples of men who feel that using a condom goes in detriment of their erection, so they altogether give up on using one! In other words, it’s sacrificing safety for performance and that is just plain stupid! Wearing a condom can protect you in so many ways and you shouldn’t let your ego get the way for it.

Don’t fall prey to the rat race man… believe me when I tell you that women are not looking for Long John Silver or a guy who can go at it all night long when they want to get a laid… if you speak to them, they’ll tell you both scenarios are potentially painful for them. It’s not about the size sometimes. So just relax and have fun.

Labels: adult dating services, dating as an adult, free single sites, get a laid, hookup with girls, online dating web site, online singles sites

As we’ve stated in past articles, the dating scene for our ancestors (even as recent as our parents) was so much easier than it is for us these days (although we should also be thankful that there are many avenues for dating today like online dating web site). Roles were pretty much defined and there was no guess work regarding certain details of the whole courtship process. Nowadays though, women are acting like men, men are acting like women and nobody knows what the hell is expected of them and nobody knows what the hell to expect!

One of the questions that men most often ask themselves is if they should pay for dates or not. Should your woman pay for it? Let’s face it, many of you feel that if you’re giving up on a lot of the privileges of “manhood”, then why should you still have to perform all the duties right? In the end, you both have to work just as hard to earn your money, so why should she ride for free and you have to give up an arm and a leg to pay for an outing? We hear you!

So how do you go about discussing this without looking like a cheap bastard? We think it’s all in the way you go about approaching this woman. If you start out by saying something like “I’d love to take you to…”, for instance, then you are clearly stating you are in charge of the date, therefore, the message you are giving out is, it’s on you. If you, on the other hand, speak about this really cool place you’re going to, and matter-of-factly suggest that she’s welcome to tag along, then it’s a totally different setup.

You don’t want women seeing you as the guy who’ll always pay for everything, unless you are happy to pay for everything always. Although yes, paying will eventually get you some affection and might hookup with girls more, truth be it, attraction is not for sale…it’s either felt, or it’s not… and guess what? All you have to do is turn on the charm, ’cause it’s totally free!!

Labels: adult dating services, dating as an adult, free single sites, hookup with girls, online dating web site, online singles sites

Dear Doc:
I’m 22 and have been dating a 20 year old girl for some months now. We get along pretty well and have decided we want to take our relationship to the next level: sex. We are both late bloomers, so to speak, and have never been sexually active so it’ll be the first time for both of us. As the man in the relationship, I guess she assumes I should know what to do and how and although yes, I know the mechanics of it, I’m pretty much at a loss for ideas as far as how to get things started. I need your help badly!

Dear Late Bloomer:
First and foremost, let me congratulate you on waiting to have somebody you feel comfortable with, to initiate your sexual life. Too many men and women, sadly, having a first time sex for the wrong reasons. I’d say that the fact that you guys have given it thought and can discuss that this is were you want to go next, already gives you a heads up on so many other couples out there.

You don’t give me enough information as far as how “virgin” you guys are. These days many call themselves virgins because they haven’t engaged in actual penetration but have participated in many other sexual practices that have put them at risk for contracting a sexually transmitted disease; for example, oral sex. This is why I strongly recommend that you both go and get tested for STD’s if you haven’t already done so. This will take a huge worry off both your shoulders so you can have an enjoyable experience.

If the tests come back negative and you are both healthy, I’d say the next concern is birth control and other forms of protection. I strongly recommend the proper use of a condom at all times, along with a complimentary method such as birth control pills to be on the very safe side…you know what they say, better safe than sorry…and because in this department, sorry can imply a lifetime commitment, I’d say definitely strive for safety. An OBGyn can further assess you as far as the proper use of a condom and the best birth control method for your girlfriend. Do pay one a visit and get your facts straight beforehand.

All that talk wasn’t meant to discourage you guys from having sex….believe me I want you to get laid just as much as you do…but being a public figure makes me liable to lawsuits you know….I’ve got to cover my ass with the whole responsibility factor. So, once all that is out of the way, let’s get down to the nitty gritty!

You guys are a work in progress so to speak…so your defined sexual preferences are yet to be discovered. Therefore, I say you should ensure a safe and comfortable location where you can experiment at your leisure. If either one of you lives on your own, then your apartment might be a good idea…take the phone off the hook, turn off cells, make sure no visitors will drop in unannounced and by all means, don’t commit yourself to being anywhere for many hours so you can truly relax.

If you don’t have a place of your own, then a small hotel might be another option and even give you an element of fantasy to play with. Ask your girl and make sure you get her input as far as what she prefers; it’s best not to assume. Whichever place you decide on, provide a special ambience with scents, music and candles for instance, maybe a nice meal… after all, it’s your first time sex, invest in making it memorable for the both of you.

Once in the chosen location, just relax and let things flow naturally. You are both learning so make sure to laugh at your inevitable awkwardness and don’t hold very high expectations for this first encounter since chances are it will only get better with practice.

Labels: adult dating services, dating as an adult, first time sex, first time sex advice, free single sites, online dating web site, online singles sites

A confused reader writes:
“I met Allison around a year ago, in a clubs singles, along with her friend Anna. From the beginning, it was made evident to me that Anna was Allison’s best friend and so she tagged along on many of our outings and just seemed to always be around somehow. Allison and I have now dated for six months and we are in a committed relationship…or so I thought. Last night I learned that I have a rival, when she confessed she’s in love with Anna. Apparently it has been platonic up to this moment but she’s pretty sure Anna feels the same way. She wants to give it a go with Anna but she doesn’t want to lose me so she proposes we become a trio…not just a menage-a-trois, but a trio always. I am actually considering it. Am I totally nuts?”

Dear reader:
I’d say your mental status pretty much depends on what kind of bond you currently have with Allison, and what you envision for the future. If your relationship is purely sexual then bringing in a third person might not necessarily be such a bad thing…it can actually become one of those experiences that guys fantasize about but have a hard time proposing…and here it is, being handed to you on a silver platter! To hookup with girls isn’t that easy but here it is, girls offering you to hookup with them both. How you handle it out of bed, I’d say is the trickiest part of all because I imagine there will be times when one of you will simply feel like a third wheel, instead of a part of this arrangement.

Now, if your feelings for Allison are a bit more traditional and homey, I don’t think this is good for you at all. It’s evident Allison doesn’t feel about you the same way you feel about her… you are considering going for this so you don’t lose her, but not because it’s the ideal scenario for you… Allison on the other hand, is the one proposing it and that speaks of what’s going on inside of her. If this is your situation, then I’d say it’s best to end it now. Either road you choose, there will be complications and you need to be aware of it… it’s hard dealing with one woman’s whims…imagine that times two!

Labels: adult dating services, clubs singles, dating as an adult, free single sites, hookup with girls, online dating web site, online singles sites

Dear Doctor:
I am 22 and have always considered myself to be straight. I’ve lived with my college roommate for 3 years now and we’ve become very good friends, totally platonic relationship. Up until 2 weeks ago, we were alone, in our room, had a bit too much to drink and we ended up making out and turning our room into a fling spot. She is straight as well and we are both mortified at the implications of what we have done.

Personally, I feel like just running from this whole situation and not having to see her again. I liked what happened but I am nowhere ready to do this publicly and I still very much like guys. In fact, I’m dating one!! I am so confused.

Dear reader:
Remember that straight, gay and bisexual are all labels…nothing more than that. Fitting into one or the other doesn’t change your essence; you are and will always be the same person you were minutes before this event in your life took place…no matter where this new road will lead to. You don’t discuss your religious or cultural beliefs regarding homosexuality but always remember that sexual preference says absolutely nothing about a person, other than who they are physically attracted to, that’s it.

Now, although it’s not that well-known, the truth is that many women have sexual encounters of some sort with other women, at some point in their life. It’s especially common during the teen-age and college years, when people are much more open to experimentation and when we are discovering who we are and what we like. May I say that part of discovering what we like is trying out new things to determine if they tickle our toes or not. In this case, it seems like this novelty in your life was pleasant but don’t feel that it necessarily defines who you are or will be.

If you were to close your eyes right now and somebody kissed you and fingered you, chances are you would enjoy it because your body reacts to the physical stimulation it’s receiving. Now as you open you eyes and realize that the person pleasuring you is not who it “should be”, then your prejudices, beliefs and fears step in to “control” your behavior and correct it. It’s very possible that the alcohol you both had, allowed you to act freely, setting aside all those preconceptions you’ve accumulated thru the years. Add to that you were in the company of a woman you love and trust, all the more comfort to act on the impulses you shared at the moment.

The fact that you were, or are, attracted to this woman doesn’t mean you’ll find another woman attractive and it certainly doesn’t mean you need to discard men from your life!! Truth be it, I think there’s a bit of bisexuality in all of us. The thing is women are more socially permitted to get touchy- feely with other women so we unload some of that sexual tension, without it getting sexual.

As far as how to handle the here and now with the guy you’re seeing. I’m sure he’d love to join you two and get a laid in threesome! And quite frankly, he doesn’t need to know about this experience unless you feel like pursuing this with her. As far as your roommate, I guess, speak with her openly to see where she’s at mentally. She can either be a safe and wonderful person to experiment this aspect of your life with and see where it leads to. Or it can be nothing more than a one-night thing and end it at that. The important thing is that you guys discuss it frankly and come to an agreement that suits the both of you.

Labels: adult dating services, dating as an adult, fling spot, free single sites, get a laid, online dating web site, online singles sites

Dear Doc:
I am of Italian descent. As you well know, this implies men with huge egos and even bigger hairy chests; I am not the exception. I’ve pretty much always dated within my kind and have never had a problem. Recently, I’ve decided to diversify my partners in sex and have found that other women are more repelled than they are attracted to all my hair. How is that possible? I’m at a crossroads here and I am torn between two worlds!

Dear Reader:
I know what the Italian “Uomo” is all about. I count a couple among my friends. I must say that as an ethnic group, you ooze an amazing self-confidence that others only wish they had. Hand in hand with that self confidence, we tend to find egos that are probably much more of a problem than I see the hairy chests posing. Could that maybe be your case? Just a bit of food for thought there. Don’t just dismiss it.

Anyhow, the whole bodily hair issue is one of pure taste, as is everything else when we’re looking for a mate. Italian women, or those of Italian descent are probably ok with it because it tends to run in most men around them growing up so they see it as a normal happening; nevertheless, I assure you there must be some who have acquired an appreciation for something different.

As far as these new experiences of yours, I’d say you’ve been unlucky in the sense that you’ve only encountered women who don’t like hair on a man because I can assure you many others will. If you want you can always find them on adult dating services. In the end though, it’s all about what makes you feel most comfortable. The great thing about hair is, it grows back. So why don’t you give waxing a try? Find a good parlor and take the plunge. It will hurt but it is temporary and the rewards infinite.

Labels: adult dating services, dating as an adult, free single sites, online dating web site, online singles sites, partners in sex

Some people don’t want to go beyond one night stands. Then there are those who want to find a fuck-buddy who they can comfortably call to get it on every once in a while, without any sort of commitment or responsibility. While some are really looking for their perfect match in life. This is where your sexual skills can either make or break your plans. Your ability to hookup with girls is really what you need to work on.

Even if you are only establishing a casual relationship, it’s a type of relationship in the end and certain rules of courtesy apply. Chances are most women won’t go for a ring followed by “Can we fuck?” A woman is a woman and she’ll expect some sort of something previous to the actual act. It doesn’t need to be a fancy dinner but think of an introductory activity in a private setting, where you guys will comfortably move into sex eventually.

Once there, how do you suggest to get a laid without being too blunt? We suggest you begin with the classic make-out session and slowly move down her body. By no means go straight for her tits, her ass or other private part ‘cause that’s a total turn-off for women…even for skanky ones. Their motors need warming up and though we understand that you’re ready from the moment you called to meet up; that’s probably not her case. Remember it’s important for the experience to be as enjoyable for her, as it is for you, or else she won’t be returning your calls anytime soon. She’s looking for a good time, just like you are. So make sure you show her one!!

Labels: adult dating services, dating as an adult, free single sites, get a laid, hookup with girls, online dating web site, online singles sites