I am 22 and have always considered myself to be straight. I’ve lived with my college roommate for 3 years now and we’ve become very good friends, totally platonic relationship. Up until 2 weeks ago, we were alone, in our room, had a bit too much to drink and we ended up making out and turning our room into a fling spot. She is straight as well and we are both mortified at the implications of what we have done.
Personally, I feel like just running from this whole situation and not having to see her again. I liked what happened but I am nowhere ready to do this publicly and I still very much like guys. In fact, I’m dating one!! I am so confused.
Dear reader:
Remember that straight, gay and bisexual are all labels…nothing more than that. Fitting into one or the other doesn’t change your essence; you are and will always be the same person you were minutes before this event in your life took place…no matter where this new road will lead to. You don’t discuss your religious or cultural beliefs regarding homosexuality but always remember that sexual preference says absolutely nothing about a person, other than who they are physically attracted to, that’s it.
Now, although it’s not that well-known, the truth is that many women have sexual encounters of some sort with other women, at some point in their life. It’s especially common during the teen-age and college years, when people are much more open to experimentation and when we are discovering who we are and what we like. May I say that part of discovering what we like is trying out new things to determine if they tickle our toes or not. In this case, it seems like this novelty in your life was pleasant but don’t feel that it necessarily defines who you are or will be.
If you were to close your eyes right now and somebody kissed you and fingered you, chances are you would enjoy it because your body reacts to the physical stimulation it’s receiving. Now as you open you eyes and realize that the person pleasuring you is not who it “should be”, then your prejudices, beliefs and fears step in to “control” your behavior and correct it. It’s very possible that the alcohol you both had, allowed you to act freely, setting aside all those preconceptions you’ve accumulated thru the years. Add to that you were in the company of a woman you love and trust, all the more comfort to act on the impulses you shared at the moment.
The fact that you were, or are, attracted to this woman doesn’t mean you’ll find another woman attractive and it certainly doesn’t mean you need to discard men from your life!! Truth be it, I think there’s a bit of bisexuality in all of us. The thing is women are more socially permitted to get touchy- feely with other women so we unload some of that sexual tension, without it getting sexual.
As far as how to handle the here and now with the guy you’re seeing. I’m sure he’d love to join you two and get a laid in threesome! And quite frankly, he doesn’t need to know about this experience unless you feel like pursuing this with her. As far as your roommate, I guess, speak with her openly to see where she’s at mentally. She can either be a safe and wonderful person to experiment this aspect of your life with and see where it leads to. Or it can be nothing more than a one-night thing and end it at that. The important thing is that you guys discuss it frankly and come to an agreement that suits the both of you. Labels: adult dating services, dating as an adult, fling spot, free single sites, get a laid, online dating web site, online singles sites
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