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HE SAID: It is in my experience that age and maturity are two things that are rarely mixed. Age really does matter in an adult dating relationship, and anyone that tells you differently is either in high school with a crush on one of his teachers, is a Miley Cyrus fan or thinks Hugh Heffner is god. Age is a vehicle wherein we experience our common milestones in life. These milestones allow us to relate to one another. I’m sure we all go through a first kiss, first significant other, first sexual experience, marriage, house, divorce, etc. If you consider yourself at the end of this list, what could you have in common with someone in the beginning? There is a reason why there is the absence of a significant age difference between couples today. Taking into account the last hundred years, the average age difference between couples is 3.5 years. Do you think it’s just a coincidence? I think not. It’s more like a trend.

After the finality of my divorce, I started adult dating different women of varying ages ranging anywhere from 22 to 53 years old. I have discovered that I was attracted, but bored with younger women, and it was just the opposite with older women—I was interested but not attracted to them.

I have learned two things from this experience. The first one is age is not just a number. It is a fairly accurate measurement of where you are and where you have been. It may also tell what things you have in common with someone. The second is to know what traits you are attracted to, understand what you want in a partner and a relationship, and confirm that all these things are in agreement before you choose go adult dating with someone. Now, if I can help it, I stay away from extreme age differences, and in those rare moments I meet someone extremely younger or older, I look for common interests before committing to a date. This works for me because I recognize that age matters. It is simply naïve to think otherwise.

SHE SAID: Truth be told, I like them old. Except for one boyfriend who was just two years older than me, the guys I’ve gone adult dating with have mostly been six to 20 years my senior. Now a twenty year age difference may not be the norm or "average," but I hardly think it's a strong predictor for the success of a relationship, and it amuses me how shocked people continue to be about an age discrepancy. It may not be a good idea for a 16-year old Miley Cyrus to date a 21-year old, but I’ll leave with the two in the relationship to decide if it works for them.

Age itself is not a factor in compatibility. Maturity and life experience, which tend to equate to age, are the elements that can make or break a relationship's long-term potential, however, so can future goals, background, culture, family, career, personality, and sexual chemistry.

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